So the other day I ran a little errand to my local Conoco at 11pm to pick up some dorito’s and a gatorade. These trips are like my kryptonite because there is always one thing I leave with that I didn’t intend on getting. In these situations it’s important to make sure you leave with something useful. Not something stupid and shitty. These things have varied from mustard flavored sardines to give to Roger to peach O’s (it only takes one of those to make me realize that I actually hate them). This time was different. I was sitting in my car talking on the phone to Kori and I kept looking at the lottery sign. Three digital numbers. calling my name. it was a 1 a 6 and a 5 followed by MILLLLLLION and i couldn’t not buy it now. I kept thinking… “what if i win… what. if. i. win?” This is a dangerous place to be. and it’s also why the lottery is a success.
I know what you’re thinking: he’s better than that. i would never buy 5 power plays on powerball for no good reason. well. like shit you wouldn’t. that’s all im saying. so i did what any noble, educated, intelligent, guy with awesome hair would do. Exactly what i said i’d never do. FIVE PLAYS. POWERBALL. and some extra thing i didn’t know what it was but the lady told me i got more money if i got it and it costs a dollar extra a ticket.
Now, the conversation that ensued when i got home was well worth the $10 i spent on that piece of paper. Me and my roommates sat around for 2 hours talking about what we would do with the money and all that stuff. I said a bunch of noble stuff like “im gonna start a foundation and give money to african kids for scholarships”. but i didn’t mean it.
How bout this though… i’d actually trade in every single dollar and convert it into Sacajawea gold dollars. (still a U.S. currency) Buy a 100 foot tower with a dollar sign on it. Put it in the middle of nowhere. and…. scrooge mcduck it.
p.s. if i do win, i will give $10,000 to everyone who is following me and to everyone whom i follow on tumblr. Just so you know…. a little incentive.
-wash it
